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Skicka gärna ett meddelande

Catrine Heinestam

Författare du?  Ja, jag!

Ekonomin – det svarta hålet

Ekonomin det svarta hålet 2
”Tänk om jag också kunde göra det du gör. Hoppa av ekorrhjulet och följa min dröm.”

Ja tänk om. Det är ju inte precis så att jag varje morgon gäspar, sträcker på mig och känner lugnet och glädjen över att jag – till skillnad från andra – kan hoppa av ekorrhjulet och följa min dröm att bli författare. Det finns faktiskt en liiiten hake även för mig. Och det är ekonomin. Den kortsiktiga, vardagsekonomin, och den långsiktiga, ständigt överhängande risken att det slutar med ättestupan – det vill säga en i det närmaste obefintlig pension.

Mitt bankkonto kan numera jämföras med ett svart hål. Och sannolikheten att jag slutar som en fattigpensionär är överhängande och betydligt troligare än något annat scenario. Jag vill understryka att jag inte jämför min oro för min stackars pension med Ines Uusmans oro för att den tidigare VD’n för OK, Göran Lindblå, som fick en pension om 64 miljoner kronor, skulle bli fattigpensionär. Så trött och okoncentrerad blir jag nog aldrig – vilket var hennes försvar för detta, i mitt tycke, mycket märkliga och världsfrånvända uttalande.

Realitycheck

Utdrag från en artikel i Boktugg från januari 2018. ”Nej, att leva som författare är inte alltid så enkelt. När man gjorde en undersökning såg man att vi hade 700 stycken aktiva yrkesförfattare i Sverige. Det innebär författare som svarat ja på frågan att de inte arbetar med något annat är att skriva böcker och att det är deras huvudsakliga inkomst. Ser man till den gruppens sammanlagda inkomst och slår ut den på allihop så blir förtjänsten rejält snål. Sanningen är att varje författare då egentligen bara har cirka 120.000 kronor per år före skatt, och hos de som ändå har en sidoinkomst är siffran bara 210.000 kronor, allt enligt tidningen Skriva.”

Enligt en artikel från Statistiska Centralbyrån, publicerad: 2017-12-07 hade år 2010 den genomsnittliga företagaren 22 procent lägre livsinkomst vid pensionsåldern än den som var anställd. Företagare förvärvsarbetade också längre än anställda. Vid 69 års ålder var nästan 52 procent kvar i arbete, mot 11 procent av de anställda.

Under tre år hade jag det underbara uppdraget att vara rådgivare för Nyföretagarcentrum i Eslöv. Satt med klienterna och gick igenom för- och nackdelar med att starta eget, vikten av att ha en bra plan för marknadsföring och inte minst en verklighetsförankrad budget. Det är en risk att starta eget. Att våga ta steget och tro på att det ska ge både personligt och ekonomiskt tillfredsställande resultat. Av de företag som startades 2014 så var närmare 75% verksamma efter tre år – om man inte räknar jord- och skogsbruksföretag som har en betydligt högre överlevnadsgrad (87,5%). Utan att ge mig ut för att vara kunnig i nationalekonomi så vill jag ändå tillägga att vi har haft en stabil konjunktur med låga räntor under den här tiden.   

Framtidsutsikter

Så vad har jag då att se fram emot? Ja, det är väl att typ arbeta så länge jag bara orkar och kan och inte ha några pengar över. Och om jag blir sjuk? Min sjukpenninggrundande inkomst (SGI) är inte högre än en mullvadshög. Och nej, jag kan inte bara ta ett annat jobb om författeriet inte ger resultat. Min hälsa tillåter inte särskilt stora utsvävningar utan då får jag suga tag i mitt, för stunden tämligen vilande, juridiska företag och se om jag kan få snurr på det igen.

Andas, peppa och andas igen

Varje morgon, och ytterligare några gånger under dagen, sju dagar i veckan, andas jag långa djupa andetag och peppar mig själv. Tänker att det får lov att gå. Att det ordnar sig. Att jag på ett eller annat sätt kommer att överleva ekonomiskt. Att jag duger och räcker till. Att det jag skriver är tillräckligt bra eller att det är tillräckligt bra att jag skriver. Att jag inte ska lyssna på andra än de som är stöttande och positiva. Att det inte finns något som heter lyckas eller misslyckas utan man försöker och ibland går det som man hoppas och tror och ibland inte. Att om hundra år är det ändå glömt. Att andas bort oron över att bli allvarligt och långsiktigt sjuk utan SGI. Att andas bort ångesten över att jag har släppt taget om min juridiska verksamhet som var på god väg att bli lönsam. Att andas bort ensamheten. För det är ett mycket ensamt arbete för en sådan som mig vars sociala behov kan liknas vid en golden retrievers.

Fortfarande avundsjuk?

Ja, om du fortfarande är det så go for it! För det är faktiskt spännande och roligt. Jag känner verkligen att jag lever och att det är helt och hållet upp till mig. Och hur det än är så tror jag på det gamla ordspråket att ”hungriga vargar jagar bäst.”

Yeih!

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387 svar

  1. Åh, vilket träffande ordspråk i slutet! Det passar ju verkligen in perfekt på en situation som den här.

    I vanliga fall gör jag mitt bästa för att helt enkelt undvika att läsa om, eller ens tänka på, författarekonomi. Allt som rör ekonomi kan göra mig väldigt orolig, och oro leder inte till något bra. I det här fallet tycker jag dock att det är intressant och berättigat, mot bakgrund av den avundsjuka/misstro eller vad det nu är, som du möter och som även jag har stött på.
    Jag antar att människor många gånger utgår ifrån att vi som skriver måste ha en hemlig skatt nedgrävd bakom huset, eller en väl dold förmögenhet i bakfickan. Att ta sådana risker, att sätta allt på spel och lära sig leva med den ständiga ovissheten och pressen att “det bara måste gå, något annat finns det inte utrymme för” – det verkar väl helt enkelt för otroligt i deras ögon.

    Faktum kvarstår. Vi får bara ett liv. Vi väljer själva hur vi vill leva det livet, och för att avsluta med ett annat gammalt talesätt: Man ångrar bara det man aldrig gjorde.
    Önskar dig stort lycka till med ditt skrivande!

    /Nina

    1. Så roligt att du känner igen dig Nina. Det har stor betydelse för mig att vi numera kan stötta varandra i våra tankar och funderingar kring skrivandet och dess kringelikrokar. Som du skriver så har man bara ett liv och jag vill se tillbaka på mitt och tänka att jag vågade prova. Att jag sedan inte alltid har fått det utfall jag hade hoppats och trott har faktiskt på flera sätt stärkt mig. Att inte låta rädslan för att förlora det jag har stå i vägen för önskan att se vad som finns bakom nästa krök. Vi kämpar på och hoppas på det bästa. Och vi får ändå aldrig två facit.
      /Catrine

  2. Hejsan!
    Ville bara tacka för boktipset du gav när jag mötte dig, din man och er fina hund vid kyrkogården härom dagen! Har börjat lyssna på Kidnappad och fastnade direkt! Kämpa på med ditt författarskap! Själv har jag bara drömmar om att skriva färdigt mina böcker… än. Någon gång kanske.
    Camilla

    1. Hej Camilla,
      Tack för berömmet och jag ber så innerligt om ursäkt för sent svar. Så roligt att du tycker om Kidnappad. Och tusen tack för att du tagit dig tid att skriva. Jag kämpar på med att våga ta steget att skriva på heltid – och om du i framtiden behöver stöttning med att fullfölja en dröm så hör gärna av dig. Det är alltid roligt att prata skrivande och jag har en del matnyttiga tips om du vill ha det. Ett annat tips är att Hämnden, uppföljaren till Kidnappad, släpps den 24 juni på Storytel och Nextory. Uppläsare är Angela Kovács. Jag har inte fått klartecken med releasedatum från BookBeat ännu. Jag får också passa på att önska dig en fortsatt skön sommar. Varma hälsningar Catrine

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